|outside the lines|: Archive

3 tags

Jul 31st

3 tags

Jul 30th

4 tags

Everyone should try this...

mumbaisays: LOOL this made me laugh! Got it off FB. ‎1: Open Google Maps (directions) 2: Type China as your starting point 3: Type Taiwan as your destination. 4: Read step 48 5: When you stop laughing , put this as your status so others can laugh too. Do the same for China to Japan and read step 27. Im soo easily amused. Haha I’ll take the jet ski as I can’t swim

Jul 29th

1 note

Regular Night on Chelsea Lately

Chelsea Handler: Britney is, uh… her ex-body guard is suing her. Because he is saying that she is not easy to work for, and that in addition to her drug use, she sexually harassed him and was a total pig when it came to her hygiene. Um. He said that she chained smoked, and would not bath for days on end, and constantly broke wind.
 *pause for applause and laughter*
Chelsea Handler: ….. I don’t know how that’s sexual harassment, unless she’s farting on his penis. She of course is denying it and her parents are denying it.  But.
Dov Davidoff: Ironically the most offensive part about that is still her music. “Your Honor! Your Honor, I was forced to listen ‘Baby, Hit me One more Time’ a lotta times, man.”
Ross Matthews: You know what’s even grosser is that every time she farted, d’you know what she said? “Oops, I did it again! Oops.”
Chelsea Handler: The girl survives on Frappuccinos and Ceetos; obviously, she’s farting.
Loni Love: You know, I know a lotta men who would love that job. To see her naked as a body guard… but see, now she done had 2 kids. She need to come over into my world. You need to be in my world… because you look like me now. 
Ross Matthews: I happen to love Britney Spears. I do. And this guy thinks he’s gonna break her by saying that she farts? Do you know what she’s been through? Britney has been through the most horrific and difficult thing I can imagine…. she broke up with Justine Timberlake, which would break me! 
 *pause for applause and laughter*
Ross Matthews: I would never recover from that! Girl is strong.
Chelsea Handler: The bodyguard claims that one time Britney was wearing a see-through white lace dress, bent over to pick up a cigarette lighter and exposed her bare genitals to him. Here’s what I— I need women to wear underwear. Guys, I don’t… I get it, you’re covered up. Their not walking around with skirts on and you know, short-shorts on, so if you don’t wanna wear underwear, then that’s their business. But, Women, you need to wear underwear. It’s not [bleep]ing cute.
 *pause for applause and laughter*
Chelsea Handler: If something slips out, that is not a good look for anyone. It’s like a  7 layer dip and nobody needs to see it.
Ross Matthews: No, I saw it one time: I don’t wanna see it again!
 *pause for applause and laughter*
Chelsea Handler: If I wear a skirt, I wear full panties; because, if you wear a skirt your thong can sometimes go in — You have to-You have to cover your ass up! No one is supposed to see that when you’re out and about. Women! If you want someone to see your pikachu, you take them back to your house and give them a reverse cowgirl. 
 *pause for applause and laughter*
Chelsea Handler: It shouldn’t be an accident!
Loni Love: I’m still looking for a g-string I wore in 84..
 *pause for applause and laughter*
Dov Davidoff: Come to my house, Loni.
 *pause for applause and laughter*
Loni Love: Someone’s gonna get face raped if they keep doing that!
Chelsea Handler: Let’s take a day off…
 *face rape ensues*
Dov Davidoff: All due respect, I’d rather [bleep] Ross.
Ross: Thank you! That is like— Thank you! Dear diary, guess what I heard today!

Jul 28th

27 notes

Jul 28th

1,578 notes

3 tags

Jul 28th

2 tags

Jul 28th

10 notes

1 tag

Jul 28th

5,588 notes

2 tags

Jul 28th

46 notes

1 tag

Survival Guide to Surviving Life.

1)Don’t/try not to fall in Love, only walk or run when you’re ready. 2)Don’t ask twice about something. Take the first answer whether it be a lie or the truth, except it and move on. Looking deeper into things is when you’ll find out what you’re dreading to hear. 3) Don’t think about the negatives surrounding your life too deeply. Whatever has happened in life, negative or positive it’s...

Jul 28th

4 notes

3 tags

Jul 28th

56,547 notes

3 tags

Jul 27th

2,618 notes

1 tag

Jul 27th

1 note

2 tags

Life. →

Jul 27th

1 note

4 tags

Jul 27th

3 notes

6 tags

Jul 27th

1 tag

Jul 26th

617 notes

4 tags

Jul 26th

1 note

3 tags

Jul 26th

8 notes

1 tag

Jul 26th

1 note

4 tags

Watch A Gift strikes a deal with Ted Baker

Are you in need of a new watch, maybe your wrist’s been naked for too long, maybe your old one is becoming rusty, or they don’t make batteries for pocket watches anymore. Watch A Gift is a new and upcoming website that supplies watches seriously cheap, after striking a deal with Ted Baker this company can now get any, yes ANY Ted Baker watch you want! No matter where you see it (not...

Jul 25th

1 note

3 tags

Jul 25th

4 tags

For Amy by Russell Brand. →

Jul 25th

8 tags

Range Rover Evoque: Production begins, but it's...

The first Evoque - the new baby Range Rover - rolled off Land Rover’s production lines at the company’s Halewood factory in Merseyside yesterday (July 4) - but the first year’s allocation has already been sold. A total of 18,000 advance orders have been placed for the trendy new SUV worldwide. This follows £2 billion of investment by Land Rover and an extensive publicity...

Jul 25th

6 notes

Anonymous asked: I think you've always wanted to see me without clothes on... I posted photos WITH MY FACE COVERED at AllSinglesLinkUp ) dot ( com just go there create a profile and find ''summatime517721'' then guess who the fuck I am and message me on AIM or something

Jul 24th

6 tags

Jul 24th

90 notes

2 tags

I feel to download Amy Whinehouse's songs all over...

4 albums in the iTunes top 10 right now. Adele knocked of #1 spot. Proves how much everyone loved her music.

Jul 24th

3 notes

3 tags

Jul 24th

6 notes

3 tags

Jul 24th

26,188 notes

3 tags

Jul 23rd

9,280 notes

1 tag

I wanna get drunk with Chelsea Handler.

Jul 23rd

65 notes

Jul 23rd

Jul 22nd

Anonymous asked: Pretty sure you've always wanted to see me naked.. Well.. I'm feeling pretty adventurous today so go to datelink6(dot)com (switch [dot] with .) then sign up and find my profile under the username 'lolsummer69'. I hid my face in the pictures. but I want you to guess who I am and then hit me up on Facebook lol. Good luck.

Jul 22nd

1,274 notes

1 tag

Jul 22nd

3 notes

4 tags

Versace Bans Sandblasted Jeans.

As I reported months ago, Versace FINALLY bans sandblasted jeans, making a stand - better late than never I guess. Will the rest of the industry follow? Read Yahoo! for the full article: here-hoe!

Jul 22nd

1 tag

Jul 22nd

179,882 notes

3 tags

“SUCCESSFUL; because even when they’re talking about how crazy you are,...”

– Lady GaGa

Jul 21st

4 tags

Jul 21st

The first time I heard the drop on Otis

rcsmall: This!

Jul 21st

5 notes

thecacophonyofbryan: freeashair: LMAO WHY IS ADELE NOMINATED SHE JUST SITS IN A CHAIR AND SINGS So not true. Sometimes she stands!!!!

Jul 21st

5 notes

5 tags

Watch

Mac OS X Lion. Out Now to download! Wrap Up Video Strongly recommend you back-up your Mac before you download this as you would with an iPhone update, especially if you Mac means everything to your life like mine does! Download via the Mac App Store, and it automatically installs onto your Mac.

Jul 20th

2 notes

3 tags